I've always enjoyed blogging. It gives me the release I need to get through some situations, and ever since MySpace became lame, I deleted my account and haven't blogged since. I've missed it! So I finally decided it was time to cave and start up a new one. YAY! Do I know if anyone will read this or become "followers"? NO. If they do, great, but just knowing that my words are out there for people to read if they want makes things feel better sometimes. I guess it makes me feel like I'm not bogging others down with my problems. If you come here and want to read, then you can. If you could care less, then that's fine as well.
So as stated, I like to vent my problems through blogs. Lately I've really needed a good vent, which is what pushed me to this. I've just felt out of sync this entire week. Exhausted, not wanting to do anything, and I have the urge to just drop everything and leave for a couple days. I've had horrible headaches, I've been moody, and just depressed. Years ago when I had the same symptoms, I went to the doctor because I was concerned about the headaches. I was having dizzy spells, blacking out, and wanted nothing but sleep. After numerous test and physicals, it was declared that I was just stressed out. So I ended the relationship I was in, stepped out of my supervisor position at work, and focused on me. It helped! Until I made some serious mistakes that I'm still paying for til this day; that's a blog for another day!
But my situation today? I have an amazing husband, a beautiful baby girl (5 months old on the 23rd), an OK job - it's temporary and not hard, pays the bills - and an awesome support group of family and friends. So I can't really figure out what's going on. I'm hoping it's just a funk that will pass when this weekend hits. There are a few things in my life that could get better, maybe that's what I'm stressing over. I've been waiting for that awesome career job since graduating college in 2010. I keep telling myself that all these interviews I'm doing and not getting calls backs are just God's way of telling me that those jobs aren't where He wants me to be. He'll provide when it's time.
I also keep going back to what our Pastor was talking about a few weeks ago. His sermon was about the path God wants you to take and what work He wants you to do in your life, and how to find out your path. I've wrestled with the decision on going back to school a lot lately. I truly feel like I know what I'm supposed to be doing, but it requires for me to get a different degree. If I didn't have my daughter, I'd be jumping to the chance. Right now I'm slowly weighing my options. But with each semester that passes I'm getting further away from what I want to be doing. So then I also think that's why I haven't landed the career job I'm looking for. Because all these business related jobs aren't what I'm supposed to be doing.
:sigh: I'm already feeling better! :)
I did, today, file my FASFA, and have the consent form for my previous University to send my transcript over to the potential College. So I'm taking the steps I need, FINALLY, to this done. I guess we'll just have to see what they say!
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